I love my new granny friends at Aqua Fit <3

Went to my first Aqua Fit class yesterday and absolutely loved it! Why haven't I been before?!
The changing rooms were however really confusing. I arrived 20 minutes before the class started and was alone. There were cubicles and then there was lockers. Usually I just take a locker, get changed and head for the showers, but I couldn't find the showers.. So I took a cubicle. And sat there for 10 minutes until I heard other people in the changing room. Then I got changed and wondered where to put my stuff.. Luckily enough for me there was two lovely grannys there who explained the english changing room system for me. For me it was very weird that men and women got changed together, and that no one showered before getting in to the pool, or took their swimming suits off when they showered afterwards. How are one supposed to get clean if it's only 4 showers on 20 people, and you can't even take off your swimming suit, because the showers are next to the pool, AND it's a mixed sex changing room?! It's a mystery for me..

The water aerobics was very fun though! Walked home with a big smile on my lips and felt amazing. And the ladies (and the one man) was so nice. It was lovely to small talk with some new people between the hard work. We decided we'll see each other on monday again. I'm really looking forward to that! Had the best sleep in ages afterwards too.

Now I'm gonna order a new bikini, the one I bought last summer is too big now, and I don't want to lose any pieces when I'm jumping around in the water haha.

Have had a lovely couple of days with John :)

Plans for the new year;

• Start swimming and go to the gym (I'm gonna look hot hot hot before the summer!!)
• Do uni work before it's to late
• Get a job
• Stop using nose spray
• Hang out with friends more

New year and time to start blogging again. A fresh start in the spirit of Hello Saferide.

"Party favours on the floor and a
Half drunk bottle with a popcorn in it
Yesterday’s dress in a complete mess and a
Bruise on my arm, I don’t know how I got it
January 1st and it’s already clear:
It’s gonna be another shitty year

[...]

You’ve got the sad eyes of a poet
I know all of that is bullshit
I’ve seen that you got a carpenters hands"

Hello Saferide - 2006

NYE was shit. Then it got better. 2 weeks after that it was shit again and now it's all good. I think. The feeling of something being wrong is back. Again. And I know that whatever's wrong I can't change, because I will never be her. I will never be able to give him what she gave him. I've been wondering from the very beginning what he sees in me, and I still wonder. I don't believe him when he says that it's because I'm from another culture, that I'm interesting and cute - because I'm not any of that. I spent 18 years of my life in the same house, in the same small town, and had a "perfect" small town life. My life is probably the most boring life anyone could ever have had. I have done nothing. I have no life experience what so ever. And I'm not skinny, I don't have long beautiful hair, and my culture (what I still have left) only seems to be wierd in his eyes. (And not to forget; I'm apparently fake, boring, dead inside and arrogant too..)

I'm starting to wonder if this will ever go anywhere. I don't want to fall in love if I'm gonna be dumped right afterwards..
I love it when he lies in my arms, I love running my fingers through his hair, I love rubbing his back.. and I would love to love him, but this slightly sick feeling in my stomach will not go away. Is it possibly to be haplessly in love with someone you haven't had time to start loving, and having a relationship with?

It’s gonna be another shitty year...